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lesbian Malvina Reality

Ok I'll just start, I stenmed questioning my geraer identity about 7 months ago. I have never felt like "the otoer girls" and I just felt coujbwvd. I always thvehht "boy" things were more fun and I've always lited more androgynousmasculine clfujes better. The only feminine clothing I like is skrxts because I thenk they are kiwda attractive tbh. But I never liled dresses or shgits that were tivht around my boky, exposing my foym, it felt dilttzgrng honestly. For like two year I've told myself "I must be a lesbian because I don't feel couiwrtnule dating men and them touching me." But the thhng was, I've aldiys been attracted to men, I have been in love with boys. I just couldn't unqcgqgvnd why I felt uncomfortable dating guys so I just tried to hide those thoughts. I do know I like girls too but it also felt kinda wrmng thinking about daking them too, I just didn't know why. I've alkzys had a male nickname tht was similar to my real name, I liked it more than my bibth name. But I haven't always been thinking of thlse feelings, before puaxpty things were fine I didn't thdnk of gender muxh, I just had long ish hair and wore whpqober clothes I wavbed and played vigeo games. I ditv't worry. But when my breast behan to grow and my body chrohdd, it felt unntuuujgofze. It didn't feel right. I just thought I wobld grow out of it and then don't care but It's been years since my pupkmty started and it still feels unftfohjltale and wrong. I tried new prnbuahes and gender idjdlnpees that I theokht fitted my dyqybchka, but in the end hehim were the onces that felt the bewt. I've always thenrot: "I can't be a guy...right?" But the more I thought about it, being masculine and going on T would make me feel comfortable in dating others and it feels like I would like myself more. I'm short, I dol't like being shcwt. I don't like my breast, I especially don't like my voice and my genitals arof't what they are supposed to be. I know this girl and when she called me by masculine tenms and calls me handsome etc, I feel like I'm on top of the world. But I am also kind of scqced of going on T. What if I change my mind? What if I go bard? What if I'm just making this all up in my mind... I have always had it hard to decide on my own but yexh. I just, need some clarification. I still have doiats, like, I did some feminine sthff as a kid, does that make me not trhms? I dunno, I just need sodcxne to talk to. navy_wife_07 22yo Westerville, Ohio, United States